Practising Self-Care this Christmas Season: By Dean Attwood, Mindset and Performance Coach and Anxiety Expert
The Christmas season is often depicted as a time of joy, togetherness, and festive cheer. However, for many people, it can also bring a sense of overwhelm, especially when it comes to navigating family dynamics. Between the pressure to meet holiday expectations, manage financial stress and getting a handle on tricky family relationships, Christmas can quickly become more stressful than enjoyable. The key to getting through it is finding a balance between managing family stress and practising self-care that works for you.
If you're struggling with this balance, know you're not alone. Studies show that holiday stress is a widespread phenomenon, with many people feeling the pressure of creating the "perfect" holiday experience. In the UK, a survey by the Mental Health Foundation found that one in five adults report feeling more stressed during the Christmas period, and one in three have cited family-related stress as a major factor. With these statistics in mind, it’s essential to adopt realistic strategies that allow you to both cope with stress and protect your mental health and of course enjoy this time too!!
Understanding Your Stress Triggers
Before we can manage stress, it’s important to understand where it’s coming from.
- Family Expectations: Many feel an obligation to host large family gatherings or meet high expectations when it comes to gifts, food, and traditions. In the UK, 56% of people say they feel financially pressured during Christmas, which can worsen feelings of stress.
- Family Tensions: The holidays can bring up unresolved family conflicts or put you in close proximity with relatives you find difficult to be around. According to a YouGov poll, 40% of people in the UK feel stressed by family tensions during Christmas.
- Social Pressures: There’s also the societal pressure to create the "perfect" Christmas experience, often fuelled by idealised portrayals on social media and TV.
- Over-scheduling: Many people overcommit themselves, juggling multiple social events, shopping, and travel plans, which leads to burnout.
Managing Family Stress: Practical Tips
While you can’t control how your family behaves, you can control how you respond. Here are some practical strategies for managing family stress during the holiday season:
- Set Realistic Expectations: Christmas is rarely the "perfect" holiday depicted in movies. Acknowledge that not everything will go according to plan—and that's okay. Rather than striving for perfection, focus on making small moments meaningful.
- Don’t overextend yourself: If you're feeling pressure to host a grand meal or buy extravagant gifts, take a step back and ask yourself: "What matters most?" Sometimes, the simplest gestures are the most meaningful, whether it’s a homemade meal or just spending time together.
- Boundaries: Family members can unintentionally add to your stress by not respecting your time, energy, or emotional limits. Setting clear, respectful boundaries is a form of self-care that allows you to preserve your mental health.
- Be assertive but gentle: If you need time for yourself during family gatherings, let your relatives know in advance. If a certain topic of conversation is a trigger, be honest and suggest steering away from it.
- Gift yourself space for self-care: You don’t have to attend every event or participate in every family activity. Let family members know that while you want to be involved, you need to take breaks to recharge.
- Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness can help you stay grounded when tensions run high. Mindfulness is about staying present in the moment and accepting things as they are, without judgment. By practising mindfulness, you’ll be better able to respond to stressful situations calmly and with clarity.
- Deep Breathing: When you feel your stress levels rising, take a few deep breaths. Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, and exhale for 4, hold for 4 and repeat this several times until you feel calmer.
- Grounding Techniques: Take yourself away, even for a few minutes, the old adage of counting to 10. Remind yourself that you are doing your best and reinforce that that is ok. In moments of stress, things can get a little reactive, to say the least, so take that as a hint to move, take a moment and create some healthy space.
Take Care of Your Physical Health
Physical well-being is closely tied to mental health, so keeping up with regular exercise and getting enough sleep is essential for managing stress.
- Get Moving: Even if it’s just a walk around the block or a quick yoga session, physical activity helps release endorphins, which are natural mood boosters. A study by the Mental Health Foundationfound that regular physical activity can reduce anxiety and depression, two common triggers of holiday stress.
- Prioritise Sleep: Holiday celebrations often mean late nights and early mornings. Sleep deprivation can significantly impact your mood, patience, and ability to cope with stress.
One of the major causes of holiday stress is feeling like you have to do everything yourself. It’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to "make everything perfect," but perfectionism often leads to exhaustion.
- Delegate Tasks: If you’re hosting a family gathering, ask for help. Whether it’s having others bring dishes or pitch in with the clean-up, sharing responsibilities will lighten the load and give you more time to relax.
- Get the Family Involved: If you have children or relatives who are able to help, encourage them to participate in preparing meals or decorating the house. It’s a great way to reduce your stress while also creating shared memories.
Self-Care Strategies - Making Time for You
During the holidays, it’s easy to put your needs on the back burner. But practising self-care is essential to staying mentally and emotionally healthy. Here are some self-care strategies that can help you navigate the holiday season with a sense of balance and calm:
- Carve Out Time for Yourself
It’s easy to forget about your own needs when everyone else has their own agenda. But taking time for yourself is not selfish—it’s necessary for maintaining your mental health.
- Solo Time: Whether it’s reading a book, taking a walk, or having a quiet cup of tea, find small moments throughout the day to recharge. Even 10 minutes of solitude can help reduce stress.
- Say No When Needed: Don’t feel obligated to say yes to every invitation or family activity. If you need a break, it's okay to politely decline or leave early.
- Flip the Script
During times of stress, it can be easy to focus on what’s going wrong. Shifting your focus to what is going well and what you’re grateful for can help change your perspective and improve your mood.
- Seek Support If You Need It
If you're feeling overwhelmed by family stress, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Talking to a friend, therapist, or coach can help you process your feelings and develop coping strategies.
- Talk: If family dynamics are especially challenging, coaching can help you gain perspective and equip you with tools to navigate difficult interactions.
- Support Networks: Lean on friends or support groups who can empathise with your situation. Sometimes just talking things out can relieve a lot of pressure.
Final Thoughts - Be Kind To Yourself
Christmas is a time of joy, but it’s also a time when stress can spike—especially in family settings. By setting realistic expectations, practising self-care, and managing family dynamics with clear boundaries, you can navigate the holiday season in a way that preserves your mental well-being. The holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. Focus on the moments that matter, be kind to yourself, and remember that self-care is a gift you give yourself, so you can show up as your best self for others.
If you need to step back, it’s okay. You don’t have to carry the weight of the holidays alone. And with the right strategies / self-care / tools, you can make this Christmas season one that’s both enjoyable and stress-free.
Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas.
Dean x
Dean Attwood
Mindset and Performance Coach and Anxiety Expert
Dean is Owner and Director at Integral Workplace Wellness - a mental health support and training company that specialises in staff and business support for SME’s who, along with Bel Hardman, offer a “a heart centred and people focused company, with professionalism and integrity at the core, helping you to put your Workplace Wellness first for the benefit of both your valued staff and your business.”
