Men's Health Week - Attention All Men! By Dean Attwood
PhysioPod UK asked Dean Attwood to share his thoughts on the problems involved with men talking about and seeking mental and health advice in society.
Well, when this request for an article hit my desk, I thought, 'exciting, a chance to write about something very close to my heart and a topic that needs to be promoted more.'
For so many men, talking about our health, mental or physical, is 'quite the challenge'.
We, as men, are more wired to be solution-based humans; we see a problem and fix it. By keeping this nice and transactional, the majority of us can stay emotionally disconnected, but we get a nice dopamine boost, can tick it off our list, and ideally, a pat on the back when it's done, even if it is 6 months later….
As for our health concerns, well, these are left even longer, as they can be left and left and left!
Societal stigmas and expectations around masculinity have hindered men from openly expressing their emotions, which has led to a numbing and almost a level of perceived gagging and restriction for a man to express where he is at..
Phrases like 'Man-up' and 'Take it on the chin' have made it challenging for men to convey their feelings authentically without fear of judgement or ridicule. Men must be encouraged to connect with their emotions and articulate their concerns in a way that is truly understood and respected, instead of feeling that they will be dismissed or belittled. Men can struggle to express themselves genuinely, and we need a shift towards more open and empathetic communication.
Communication is little without comprehension
Empathy, understanding, and genuine concern in communication are crucial, particularly in supporting others through difficult times.
Most men have this wonderful 'box' in their brain that contains absolutely nothing, and because it contains nothing, we find it so attractive and addictive, so we try to escape there as often as possible! For example, this explains why many men tend to spend a significant amount of time on the toilet. People often ask us, "What have you been doing in there for so long?" Well, the answer is, “In the ‘Nothing Box’”.
We hide, seek mental shelter, procrastinate, energetically rejuvenate, waste time, and exchange short-term pleasure for ‘not’ facing what needs to be faced, or the big ones;
Denial and fear of judgement
However, we can also argue that for many men, mental barriers often stem from ego and stubbornness. That wonderful certification of hindsight isn’t great when it should have been checked 12 weeks ago and now it's too late, and this is where some of the fear bottles up: the maybe’s, the what's, the if's, and the “I don’t have time for this.”
When I am working with someone, my radar is looking for subtle changes in the person's context and tone; in this case, it will be aimed at mental and physical health. Here are some tips and guidance:
- ‘Deleting’ words from a sentence that is related to health, be that mental or physical
- ‘Denial’ about a health concern or trigger
- ‘Deflecting’ away from talking about health or required treatment or support.
- ‘Distorting’ what the actual truth is regarding the health issues or concerns.
- ‘Generalising’ - so a ‘much to do about nothing’ kind of approach. Little detail or focus.
Men often face various obstacles when it comes to discussing their health concerns. Some of the common blocks include social expectations around masculinity, fear of vulnerability or judgement, and a tendency to prioritise work or family responsibilities over personal health.
We must, and all men MUST normalise these conversations, and help to encourage open and honest discussions about health. By normalising the conversation, men may feel more comfortable sharing their own experiences. The actions of their peers and role models frequently influence men and by openly discussing your health concerns and seeking support when needed, you can lead by example and show that it's okay to share worries and ask for help.
Encourage men to communicate their feelings in safe and supportive situations, such as men's support groups, one-on-one treatment, and casual talks with trusted confidants. Promote preventative healthcare such as checkups, screenings, and healthy lifestyles. Men should prioritise their health like any other part of their lives.
Discuss mental health's importance and normalise seeking professional help to reduce stigma. Men should remember that mental health is as vital as physical health. Implementing these tactics and creating a supportive environment can help men feel more comfortable sharing their health issues and live healthier, happier lives.
It might be difficult to talk to male family and friends about health, especially if you don't feel comfortable doing so. If you don't have this support network, you should learn about healthcare providers, helplines, internet forums, and men's health community organisations.
By showing empathy, compassion, and concern, you can help men feel comfortable discussing their health with family and friends. Even tiny actions towards open communication can help promote each other's health and wellness.
In its simplest form, to all men out there. I am proud of you all, your work, your effort, your standards, your drive and your tenacity. However, just like the cars, the boilers, the bikes etc. that you take such good care of, we also all need to be checked and have an MOT and an annual service.
You, your health and wellbeing are so so important!
Putting yourself first is not selfish; rather, take heed of the voice that says, "I need to take care of my family first." - It's merely a cover for your dread of having to face the things you've been putting off, no matter how inconvenient they may be. Because who would be taking care of your family if you weren't here?
My final point, however controversial!
The slogan “It's ok not to be ok” I do not completely agree with.
Yes, it's ok not to be ok, in terms of a short-term place, to know, to feel, and to acknowledge that you need support, but to have that as your story, as your place. NO, nope, never.
After that initial acknowledgement, you MUST move into the action phase – because
- YOU ARE IMPORTANT
- SO IMPORTANT
- SO SO IMPORTANT
And you are ENOUGH, so take the step, make the call, reach out, feel the fear, the uncomfortable feeling, for it will pass and you will truly be all the more better for it.
Dean Attwood
Mindset and Performance Coach and Anxiety Expert
PhysioPod were first introduced to Dean Attwood when installing Deep Oscillation at The Nicky Snazell Pain Clinic in Stafford. It was Dean's passion for helping others that shone through and he made a lasting impact upon Mary and Julie. When they began their monthly newsmagazine, Dean was somebody they approached to write for them, as they felt his dynamic and energetic approach, coupled with his unique style of communication should be brought to the attention of their readers.
