What Would Your Life Look Like with Full Self-Acceptance? By Bel Hardman
You might find the thought of fully accepting yourself seems impossible, and that’s okay. This is an invitation to reflect on it - at your own pace. Maybe you’re someone who avoids thinking about self-worth, self-acceptance and even self-love completely. If reading this has stirred some discomfort, I encourage you to continue - it might be exactly what you need right now.
Let me ask you this: Do you take the time to self-reflect, build self-awareness, and honestly explore your self-worth and self-acceptance? Through this blog, my hope is to inspire you to delve a little deeper into yourself than you might usually do.
When it comes to liking or loving ourselves, self-worth, or self-acceptance, we often avoid thinking about it. Social media and constant comparisons with others can make us feel like our value is tied to our appearance, career, or relationship status to name a few. This can create pressure to constantly strive for more, just to feel like we are worthy. Additionally, if like me you’ve struggled with physical health issues (I’ve healed from Fibromyalgia and have Lipoedema), this can place further challenges to your ability to feel worthy, accept yourself and even love yourself.
Why is it so important to like yourself, to embrace who you are just as you are, to feel deserving and worthy of all the good things you aspire to, and to ultimately love yourself unconditionally?
Simply put, the limiting beliefs you hold - those that are not grounded in fact and contradict your ability to accept and love yourself - will continue to keep you stuck. They prevent you from reaching your goals, diminish your joy, and, most critically, rob you of the peace that comes from within. These beliefs create inner barriers that make self-acceptance and self-love difficult, hindering you from truly experiencing your worth and fulfilling your potential. No matter how small or large your goals are, if it’s something you truly desire then you are worthy and deserve to achieve them.
Understanding what self-love IS and IS NOT
Self-love is about feeling affection and appreciation for yourself. It involves valuing who you are, embracing your strengths, and accepting your flaws and imperfections.
It is not about being self-centred or overly focused on yourself. Instead, self-love is a healthy and balanced way of respecting and caring for yourself while maintaining awareness and connection with others.
Self-Awareness is the starting point.
You’ve likely heard the saying, "Ignorance is bliss," but when it comes to self-awareness, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Increasing your self-awareness and understanding yourself better allows you to identify areas for growth and manage your thoughts, feelings, and emotions more effectively.
One key area that can assist in your self-awareness and understanding is Your Mindset. Your mindset refers to a set of beliefs, attitudes, and assumptions that shape your thinking, behaviour, and approach to various aspects of life. It influences how you perceive and interpret situations, approach challenges, and deal with setbacks or successes. As proposed by psychologist Carol Dweck, there are two main types of mindsets that have been extensively studied: Fixed Mindset & Growth Mindset.
A fixed mindset is the belief that personal abilities, intelligence, and talents are inherent and unchangeable. In contrast, a growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed over time through effort, learning, and perseverance. Do you have a fixed or growth mindset? Take the mindset test here - https://www.belhardmancoaching.com/free-resources
Bear in mind, we all have a mix of each, and this can alter depending on what you are going through in life. Knowing which is your dominant mindset can help you understand yourself and where changes may be needed to release limiting beliefs.
4 Steps to Release Limiting Beliefs
You may have already identified some limiting beliefs you hold or be wondering if you do hold any. Below is your 4 step process to releasing limiting beliefs. In your own time use each of these steps and journal your answers to the questions to start to release any limiting beliefs you hold. Like anything new that you want to learn or adopt into your routine, you must be consistent. Repeat these steps as needed.
- Step 1: Awareness
Recognise the limiting belief. "Start by identifying the negative thought or belief that holds you back. For example, 'I’m not good enough' or 'I’ll never be successful.'" - Step 2: Question the Belief
Challenge its accuracy. "Ask yourself: Is this belief really true? Are there any past experiences or examples that contradict this belief I hold?" - Step 3: Replace the Belief
Create a more empowering belief. "Instead of ‘I’m not good enough,’ replace it with, ‘I have the ability to learn and grow.’" - Step 4: Reinforce the New Belief
Make the new belief part of your daily practice. "Each time you catch yourself thinking negatively, consciously replace it with your new empowering belief. Over time, your mind will begin to accept this new truth."
Why have I suggested you journal your answers to the above 4 steps? Because physically writing your thoughts impacts your personal growth. Journaling enhances cognitive control by requiring the prefrontal cortex to organise and structure thoughts. This is especially useful when learning new concepts or reflecting on personal experiences. Writing about what you’ve learned helps solidify that information and integrate it into your long-term memory.
Self-compassion is the key ingredient!
You’ve heard it before: How would you speak to your best friend? Self-compassion means being kind, understanding, and supportive of yourself, just as you would be to a close friend during difficult times. It involves treating yourself with care, accepting that everyone makes mistakes, and responding to challenges with mindfulness and empathy.
Please use the above tools and journaling prompts and incorporate self-compassion to see how your thoughts, language and behaviours change over time to be more positive. Through these tools and practices, you can start transforming your beliefs and actions to align with the life you truly deserve.
Calling all Ladies! Are you ready to delve a little deeper?
If you’ve found this content valuable and you're ready to delve a little deeper into these concepts and feel supported as you grow, my ‘Embrace Your Whole Self’ group coaching program is here for you. In this program starting February 2025, we explore the 8 Self’s below in greater detail, and I provide you with the tools and support you need to truly transform your thoughts, beliefs and behaviours to allow you to achieve your personal goals and create more self-acceptance and self-love.
The-6 Week 'Embrace Your Whole Self' Schedule
Discovery
Week 1 – Self-awareness through Mindset & Values
Week 2 – Self-awareness through Emotions
Week 3 – Self-compassion & Self-acceptance
The Journey
Week 4 – Self-worth & Self-esteem
Week 5 – Self-belief & Self-confidence
Week 6 – Self-love
You’ll have the opportunity to explore these areas within a supportive private community of like-minded women, guided by me every step of the way.
To learn about what’s included in the Embrace group coaching programme click here.
If you have questions about the topics covered in this article or the Embrace Your Whole Self coaching programme, please feel free to get in touch with me at
hello@belhardmancoaching.com and connect with me on social media –
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/belhardmancoaching/
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@belhardmancoaching
Best wishes,
Bel x
