A Beautiful Day For A Swim

In this new blog, Jax describes the day that she and her daughter Lucy realised their shared dreams of swimming in a relaxed, friendly and welcoming environment and reflects upon just what that has meant to her.

"Until yesterday, I'd not been swimming for four years, not since Lucy left college. Lucy's not been in a pool... gosh, since I can't remember when, probably ten years or more. In the past, I would have been 'covered' up, but on this beautiful day, I wore a new bathing costume. Lucy and I were so happy to discover this pool, hidden away, locally, with staircase access, so we could both get in. It really was so lovely to get in the water. To feel so free in it.  So uplifting, we both felt wonderful. 

The Manager was lovely and kind, making it easier for us both. Lucy also went in a sauna for the first time and a jacuzzi, where we met two lovely elderly ladies who were hilarious, which made the experience all the better for Lucy.

Eventually, when I feel fit enough, we will join the aqua fit class there. The ladies were telling us about it - 'it's great' they said, 'not too hard' and 'Lucy would enjoy the music'.  

Lucy's brother Lee had watched us in the pool from the cafe area.  He said to me afterwards "Mum you looked fine.  In fact, the more you cover up Mum, the more people look to be honest. It just strikes people as though you're not confident enough to strip off and that puts you down from the off (he's a wise young man).

But actually what he said is so true! Covering up does say immediately, 'inferior' and 'I feel I need to hide' because...'I'm not good enough' or 'I don't look normal' etc.  The elderly ladies said.. 'Nobody is looking at your arms love, first thing that we noticed, was you being a lovely Mummy to your daughter, encouraging her to get into the pool'  

I think we don't truly appreciate what we have, until it's taken away and by that, I mean just the ability/opportunity to get in a pool and swim, and I so enjoyed the return to this activity. It is so good for those of us living with Lipoedema..

Looking back, even before I was officially diagnosed with Lipoedema, my confidence wasn't great. I would wear a t-shirt and shorts in the swimming pool, because I knew I felt better for covering up; hiding my body away from others. But I continued, because I really did love it. It was only when Lucy finished college that I had to stop going. Lucy refused to go, and as I am her full time carer, it meant the opportunity was no longer there.

Why wouldn't Lucy go in a pool? Mary asked me to explain:-

Because of Lucy's autism, she is fearful when she cannot see behind her and she does not have the ability to predict. By this I mean, unlike we can predict that there comes another step, then another, and eventually the pool floor, Lucy cannot predict. If she cannot see where her footing is; she is fearful and she fears the unknown. So it's important for her to be able to self evaluate the situation by seeing. She won't sit on the side and slide in either, because it hurts her to do so. She scraped her back trying once that way. So that put her off ever doing that again. Imagine how awful it is for someone stood at the edge of a pool, wanting to get into the water, but they can't because they can't see any possibilities for them, no accessible possibilities for them?

And it was when I stopped swimming, that my body began to fall apart it would seem, weight gain and worsened knee pain. The Lipoedema progressed and that little bit of fitness I had enjoyed, was taken from me, just because of this issue with 'ladder only' access to pools. (A subject matter that I have since taken up with several venues/TV programmes, in the hope that it will push them to introduce better access for disabled people and those who are less able).

So I've been thinking about things since our successful swim day

and I am wondering?

• How much time, do we waste, worrying about what others think of our image?
• What is the impact upon us of doing that?
• How much do we prevent ourselves from living a full life?

With Lipoedema, it affects not just our bodies, but so much is going on mentally too, enough to prevent us enjoying doing the things we love, if that is, we are able to. We can't let others hold us back, life is just too precious.

As I said, I've used swimming pools in the past and worn t-shirts, shorts up to my knees, to cover up the wobbly, disproportionate skin. And you know what? People stared. People Looked. But people do stare, people do look, regardless of your shape and size and unless you are a mind reader, then how do you know what they are thinking? 

Like the two elderly ladies said.. "We just noticed what a lovely Mummy you were, trying to encourage your disabled child into the pool' because it was an anxious challenge for Lucy that would have been noted, and maybe, yes, maybe they did notice that I have a different body to others, but so what, would their thoughts kill me? No, they would not. Neither would their voicing their thoughts if they had.

I absolutely loved the freedom of the water, my skin cooled and supported by its freshness. I cannot tell you just how much I have missed being in the water and I actually felt no shame this time and maybe it's the diagnosis of Lipoedema that has lead to my new found, 'no guilt' response to the potential thoughts and opinions and others.

Secondly...

After all these years, Lucy has missed out on the joy of swimming pools, since most, if not all, local public swimming baths don't have staircase access. You'd think that in this day and age, staircase access/ladder access and a hoist would be the norm. It's hard enough for most of us getting down a ladder backwards and having to climb up to get out afterwards - it certainly is for me!

Staircase access is a must.

Staircase access enables those who cannot physically use or have a mental reluctance to use the ladders, like my daughter, to get in the pool and to exercise. We are forever being told the importance, quite rightly, of exercise.  

And just by implying that a pool is disabled-friendly because they have a hoist I feel, really is the biggest insult to anyone who is disabled, because most disabled people, well those who are able to, would welcome staircase access too as they want to be independent and have the option to try for themselves.

I really shouldn't have had to wait all these years to find a pool in my area with access and neither should others. Mary sent me a link to all the developments that have been made, just take a look here, it's amazing! We need this sort of equipment in every leisure centre and swimming pool. This company create safe, fun and functional swimming environments for all.

Well, as for me. I was shining, beaming with pride in that pool. And you know what, I thought my new costume looked pretty cute too! Ha-ha. No more covering up for me!

Love Jax x